The Nation is complete chaos that is filled with hate right now. There is a war going on that we are all part of it.

It is a war of equality.

One would think that you shouldn’t have to fight for equality with the year being 2020. However, 2020 has been a year filled with fighting.

  • We are fighting an unknown virus.
  • We are fighting masks.
  • We are fighting to stay afloat.
  • We are fighting for racial equality.
  • We’re fighting for our lives.

As Law Enforcement Officers, we take an oath to uphold the Constitution. That is the bulk of our oath.

I was once told by an academy instructor that the badge on your chest represents honor and your department. But your name represents you and your morals. That resonates with me more than I thought it would.

As American citizens, we have the right to Due Process and we are innocent until proven guilty. It is often not just that simple. You see people who are wrongfully charged with crimes, but the stigma of even being charged is carried through their lives.


With a simple Google search or social media search you are connected to those charges forever. The recent actions of a few Police Officers are damning and it is hard to disagree that there was a murder committed in Minneapolis.

I am angry. We are angry. Be proud of who you are and what you believe in. Be loud. Ahhhh ‘be loud.’ How does one do that, today?


I recently read a blog about being a police wife. One of the tips for dealing with the stress and anxiety associated with today’s events claimed that it is OK for us to be silent in order to process these events.

I might be silent in my beliefs right now, but I am still trying to process the hatred that is consuming America, right now. Specifically, it’s the hatred which is pointed at my (future) husband.

I condemn the actions that took the life of George Floyd. I am angry along with minorities in our country who fear injustice. I am angry along with the good cops that are still doing this thankless job.

I saw that Chris Rock said something along the lines of that, policing does not have room for bad apples. I don’t necessarily disagree with him. However, everyone is human. Humans make mistakes. Humans pay for mistakes sometimes.

Was what happened to George Floyd a mistake? I don’t know. I wasn’t there. I don’t have access to the reports that were done internally or the criminal reports. I can say that I, like many others, have never attended a training that says it’s OK to perform that tactic in that manner.

I asked a dear friend of mine if I could still be angry about George Floyd’s death while being angry about the rioting, the looting, the burnings, and the hatred. I said to her “let me start out simple. I am pro-police. I am pro-black lives. I am pro-gay. I am pro-human freaking rights.” We came to the conclusion that yes I can be angry about both.

The scales are not the same, though. So like I said earlier, be loud. Be proud of who you are and what you believe in. Law Enforcement is a giant family. It is one that I am proud to be a part of. I will defend the blue line to the death because I know there are good cops out there. I’m going to marry one. We are friends with many of them. We both work with them.

The stress, anxiety and worry consume me. I have unplugged myself from the news and social media for long stints. I just cannot take the negativity or process the unknown that my other half will walk into every day when he goes to work. I try not to let him know how I feel, so he doesn’t go to work with the burden of my stress on his shoulders.

What I see when I look at my (future) husband I see the following: a Fiancé, a Father, a Bonus Dad, a Son, my Best Friend, a Brother, a Cousin, a Son-in-Law, a Grandson and a Brother-in-Law. The list goes on and on. I’m marrying this man, who also just so happens to work as a State Trooper.

The public sees the following: a Badge, a Cop, his Gun, a Racist, a Profiler, a Divider, a Brutal Corrupt man and a KILLER. The public sometimes forgets that behind the badge and the uniform there is a person. He’s the person whom I see.

Please stop hating my Husband.

 “Above all, it’s about going home at the end of the shift … “

We couldn’t agree more.



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