RANTS BY MAC

Mrs. Mac and I got our Moderna vaccine boosters two weeks ago. It was a good feeling, although like Big Bird, our wings were a little sore for a day. We got the boosters because we are in that “at risk” group — old. While it feels good to be fully vaccinated, there is a slight problem; both of us are now magnetic.

You have probably seen pictures on the Internet of people who had COVID-19 vaccinations and became magnetized. They put a paper clip on their forehead, and it sticks. They hold a spoon or a saucepan against their bodies and they stick. Vaccines are magnetizing people. It is a well-documented fact.

While making breakfast the other day I got stuck to the toaster.

While this started with the vaccine, we did not become fully magnetic after the first shot; that came later. But we did become aware of other side-effects. We noticed that we were being followed after receiving the initial vaccination.

It became clear what had happened when a tweet appeared from Newsmax White House correspondent, Emerald Robinson, reporting that those Moderna vaccine recipients were being targeted.

“Dear Christians: the vaccines contain a bioluminescent marker called LUCIFERASE so that you can be tracked,” she wrote. “Read the last book of the New Testament to see how this ends.”

OMG, Mrs. Mac and I took MODERNA!! I read the New Testament’s Book of Revelation and found no reference to the COVID vaccine, but Robinson is a “White House Correspondent” so it must be true. Luckily, an investigative reporter is working for us to uncover the real facts.

And even more luck, there is a fix to the tracking problem, and it comes from another trusted source – Tik Tok. Carrie Madej, an osteopathic doctor, published the ingredients for a bath that she said would “detox the vaxx.” No need to listen to CDC or FDA recommendations when Dr. Carrie is available to provide the answers you want.

NBC News reported that the Tik-Tokker advised that a bath with baking soda would remove ‘radiation.’ She then expanded her recipe, claiming that taking a bath with Epsom salt would lessen ‘poisons,’ and that adding Borax would clear away ‘nanotechnologies.’  What a relief…

But, even after our baths, our magnetism remained. In church last Sunday, I could not let go of the collection plate, and as we left, Mrs. Mac got stuck to the front bumper of our car. Being unable to dislodge her, we drove home; it was a cold ride for her.

In the garage, we were able to free her, spraying WD-40 on her contact points; I will have to post that tip online.

The CDC stated that “receiving a COVID-19 vaccine will not make you magnetic” because the vaccines are “free from metals such as iron, nickel, cobalt, lithium, and rare earth alloys.” Those so-called “real” scientists added that even if the vaccines were 100 percent metal, it would not be enough “to allow magnets to be attracted to your vaccination site.”

I think Joe Rogan would disagree. The GPS on my car quit working and now indicates that wherever I stand is north. And somehow, I now know every answer to Jeopardy.

That may be why Joe takes a horse de-wormer instead of the vaccine. Aaron Rodgers attested to the Rogan regime, and both have guaranteed that Ivermectin is a viable substitute for vaccines and has no magnetic side-effect. Wow, that makes sense.

Now, if I can somehow get this darn folding chair off my backside, there is a Fake Book video by Scott Atlas that I need to watch. I hear he has a magnetism cure that somehow utilizes raw hamburger, dryer lint, Botox, and a squirt of WD-40 – that stuff is great for everything. There is some great, relevant content on Fake Book.

Writer’s note:  You cannot vaccinate for stupid. So, please DO NOT take any of these solutions above seriously. They were cited, not to make a case, but to make a point.

 

 “Above all, it’s about going home at the end of the shift … “

We couldn’t agree more.

 


 

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